Toxic Boards, Professional Boundaries, and When Condo Managers Should Walk Away (With Their Heads Held High)
- Condor McBlogger
- Jul 10
- 3 min read
ACMO’s latest podcast episode touched on something that condo managers don’t talk about nearly enough: what to do when you’re stuck dealing with a toxic director or board. The kind of director who micromanages every task, undermines your authority, treats you like their assistant, or worse, actively harasses and gaslights you into questioning whether you’re the problem.
ACMO Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwP-9ot8AmE
If that sounds dramatic, it’s not. It happens, and it’s driving good managers out of this profession.
Condo management in Toronto isn’t just a tough job, it’s one that fewer and fewer people are signing up for. It reminds me of masonry or other skilled trades: hard, often invisible, and largely thankless. Just like a mason may be more prone to physical injuries due to the nature of their work, so too may condo management be more likely to contribute to emotional harm. The work matters deeply, but we don’t talk enough about the emotional toll.
In business terms, we’re in a blue ocean. There’s far more demand for qualified managers than supply. The CMRAO’s latest reports show a decline in the number of active licensees, especially General Licensees. For years, we’ve heard about a “pipeline problem”, but maybe the real problem is how we treat the people already doing the job.
No one went to school to be gaslit by a board president. It’s one thing to work through tension or disagreement professionally. That’s part of the job. It's entirely different when a director calls you incompetent for following the Act instead of their personal instructions, or when they conflate “not doing what I say” with “not doing your job.”
Worse still is when the gaslighting comes from within your own firm. While this hasn't been my experience where I work, some management companies try to smooth things over by implying you failed to manage the relationship properly. Sometimes, to keep the contract, firms take the demoralizing step of looking for fault in their manager instead of setting clear boundaries with the board, and it’s dangerous for the future of our profession.
As managers, our only ethical option is to act with dignity, clarity, and professionalism. That doesn’t mean rolling over and letting someone bully or take advantage of us. It means documenting concerns, escalating issues respectfully, and speaking plainly and consistently. It means saying, “Here’s what the Act says. Here’s what my role is. Here’s what I’m not permitted to do.”
If that’s not enough, if the relationship can’t be mended, and if your firm won’t back you, it’s not just okay to walk away, it's the right thing to do.
Firms have a duty here. When relationships break down because of persistent toxicity, micromanagement, or bullying, the solution is not to “keep the client happy at all costs.” It’s to protect your team. That might mean reassigning a manager., but more often than not, it means letting the board know: this behaviour is unacceptable, and we won’t continue to work under these conditions.
We should normalize that. A condo board is not entitled to abuse the people they hire. If they can’t or won’t change (even after respectful efforts at resolution), the consequence should be clear: responsible firms will refuse to work with them again. Blacklist them.
The bigger picture here is that the more we allow these dynamics to fester, the harder it becomes to recruit new managers, the harder it becomes to retain the ones we already have, and the more our whole industry suffers.
To my fellow managers: if you’ve been in a situation like this, you are not alone. Don’t internalize it. Don’t let the gaslighting take root. Your job is complex. Your boundaries matter. And you’re allowed to say, “This is not okay.”
To firms: back your managers. We’re professionals. We deserve to be treated like it.
And, to the directors reading this: if your manager seems distant, burned out, or defensive, ask yourself: are you treating them as a partner, or as a servant?
We’re in a blue ocean, meaning we don't need to fight for sustenance. It's up to us if we want to work for people who won't treat us as the professionals we are.